wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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