i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize