i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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