Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
