Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you would pick up someone in the library
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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