I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
