Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
