I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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