So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
