Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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