we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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