Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
