I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
