:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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