found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
