Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
