I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
