i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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