I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize