I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
