hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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