you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I said "one day" and that day is not today
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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