Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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