There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This toilet bowl is my home.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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