my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize