i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
