I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Come share oat with me in your robe
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize