last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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