White coat. Heels.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let's paint friendship bongs
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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