I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
false alarm, still single
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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