Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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