I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
