i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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