There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
