Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
