I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
