I just made out with a guy for $7.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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