fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize