Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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