We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well you can't waste a boner
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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