the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize