they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
