people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
