is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
this hospital has no fireball
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
