cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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