I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I know her cup size but not her name....
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
