Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
