In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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