next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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