i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
