guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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