Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
