So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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