Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
