girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
