Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
