I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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