so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize