just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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