dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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