i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
