Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
