I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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