We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
