i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize