Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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