need another drink. this is the easiest way
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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